life wun be beatiful w/o YOU by my side...

2006-07-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh! i was actually scare about helping dan to dress her wound till i shiver.
what is this?? think i need revision forgetting how to first aid.
oh and i dunno why they like to argue. its such a small matter.
well, i m a certified medic alright.

anw, i think i am damn tired lo. i know prelim are near but i dont seem to have enough time!

to all girls pls be careful, theres a molester around seng kang area. be careful.

2006-07-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

liping-
is not that i dont wanna accept ur testi but u r writing nonsense!
i declare that i am not pretty. really not.
i told pl jie e yang yang already.
she say she wanna kill me.
hahaha.
ur msn got error u know why cos they dont like u!
;)

now then i realise.
its time to be serious.
actually many people cant take jokes.
maybe sometimes i really am too much.
cos my words has caused someone to be upset.
but i really dont mean anything i say.
i wont criticise ppl.
when i dont like what u do or say i will still keep mum.
unless u mean something in my heart.
so i feel i should apologise to all those that i may have hurt through my words.
now also i realise how powerful my words are.
i am truely sorry if i hurt anyone in one way or another.
i really dont mind when u tell me u dont like something abt me.
if u keep quiet it will become misunderstnding.
the only time i am peaced off is when u stop me from doing something.
i dont want to be treated specially.
when i really cannot take it i will say.
but for as much and long i can endure i will do it.
esp my health.
its awful.
since young i cant do this i cant do that.
i am so sick of it.
i am normal.
i just needed more rest but my life is too packed.

2006-07-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

i know the last post sounded sad.
i really hope i dont have to feel that.
and i will never let history repeats itself so i will appease.
besides talking behind people's back is not me.
i have changed. and i feel bad about it.
so not me..

2006-07-10T03:53:00.000-07:00

you people can choose not to read
sch as usual but a robot working.
firstly really must thank grace for helping me carry table and chairs.
i know i have to put them back myself but i really cant bend.
who else other than myself can feel the pain?
but i can have friends who just ask me to put back myself!
i m surprise.
i began to wonder in our clique, do i really matter?
i dont think so and i cant be bothered to say it out.
5 more months to go.
the problem is not how important i am but i feel sometimes like it doesnt matter at all.
i dont know why do i have this type of friends.
dan: the clique exclude u.
i m just waiting for this period to end cos will we ever keep in contact after graduation?
i dont quite bother anw.
i have friend who are more worth my tears and my effort.
*end of story*

2006-07-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

alright i went for injection in the morning. on my buttocks!! Ouch. well, does it get better? i dont really think so.
after which i slept e whole day on my stomach. cos..
and when i woke up i was told i had 3 visitors!
but only one stayed and u ppl sld know who he is.
but i felt so bad that i didnt even bother who came!
so sorry.
mummy was like u go school like this you are gonna kill yourself but do i really have a choice.
o level.
plus tmr ms chia will be practising oral for wed real thing.
anw, i really feel better now.
after sleeping for 6hrs!
the medication do work a bit la huh.

i have this question to ask.
why cant we just have a more positive thinking?
why cant we just forgive people easily?
why must we make it so hard on others?
time for reflection.
some words are better left unsaid.
=)

2006-07-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

oh what a bad day. supposed to have a fun time at sharing session but i had a bad back ache yest.
stupid!
save me!
the feeling is awful.
mum suggest i go take injection.
pain killer cant eat too much.
haiz
but i hate injection!
is there any other way to cure?

2006-07-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

sunday
didnt study at all. but enjoyed the day. haha.
hmm jiqing lost his wallet! but a knd soul returned.
good for him.

today
stay home.

~ to know what we did in our previous life, look at what we have in our present life.~

2006-06-30T09:07:00.000-07:00

i simply enjoy my present life. i like it cos school has been great.
finally i looked forward to going school again.
right now i just wanna concentrate on studies and bonding with my friends.
cos i know all this will be over soon. i got my motivation back once again!

i am addicted to soccer! i want chocolate. i want freedom.

i had never thought that soccer was so fun!
i realised that girls are violent too.
we dont really care what it is just snatch the ball from our opponent.
and today mrs ng just cant stand us she thinks we are irritating but we know she likes us. our class is really very bubbly.

after school hot pink was thinking about how we gonna touch our teachers to tears on teachers day.
well, i am quite sure some teachers will miss us.
we may be irritating them but we made teaching more fun for them.
i really hope the class can be bonded for the last semester.
things may change after that but memories wont change.
i cherish being in an IJ school being with IJ girls cos they rock!!
it is a feeling that only u yourself being an IJ girl can understand.
The friendship, the teachers, the routine, the bonding, the scolding, the commitment.

2006-06-26T08:35:00.001-07:00

Alright it is a new semester. Really can feel the stress le.
But I am grateful that we had got better English teachers and maths teachers.
Finally they realise that we need help. I hope the class will appreciate it.
There is a lot of feeling deep inside la which I dont feel like expressing it out here.
But is really gonna be a stressful and sad semester. Graduation. It all seems so fast. I hate to part with what I am enjoying. My friends and those memories, be it good or bad, are the things that made me really very sad.

2006-06-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

2006-06-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

away from home for so many days.
mon went to sent my aunt and cousin off.
then tue to fri went cousin house.
today meet with all of them to go watch Garfield 2.
it was a good show really.
and we rock town as usual.
i feel so embarrass that i know u ppl. goodness me!
so malu-ating.
why is it whoever i go out with always turn the place upside down and attracted so much attention??
well after which we went pepper lunch for dinner.
best!
ppl go try, it is nice.
u know what i am really tired. shall update another time.

2006-06-18T04:22:00.000-07:00

hmm so much to update.
shall start from mon.

mon-
went dan house to study and slept over.
we slept at 4 plus 5?
cos we study till 2 plus then we chat when her family is sleeping soudly.
i felt like i am troubling her family.
her sis still cook for me.
she told me about (she and i knows what)
i know i am supposed to be good at giving advise
but i chosed to kept mum.
i know what u mean and understand how u felt.
if u need to talk to someone feel free to contact me.

wed to fri-
camp at NTU.
very tiring.
i had to do a lot of stuff.
chief commander cum station i/c and a i/c for a few station cum logistic cum admin cum welfare cum debrief.
woah! i tell u really tiring. i am not gonna be chief commander nor assistant chief commander anymore! no way!
i must say the rest did help a lot.
qiufeng jie was sick but she still helped me.
weilun kor took leave from work but last min need him so he had to travel here and there.
luckily he drive.
jiqing shouted till got no voice.
the rest also worked very hard.
it really is not easy at all!
and we didnt sleep!
after campers go sleep and we still have to work.
had to petrol had to discuss about the day and tmr.
we kept over-run the time.
then thanks to them they snatch the rooms and me and jiqing left with one room!
act 1st and 2nd floor is for male, 3rd and 4th is for female but we broke their rule.
what nonsense!
we didnt speak a word at all to each other.
all of us were just too tired.
some things that touches me.
-campers were really very concern about us.
-campfire need did had the effect.
-when sharing session on the last day they sound like they this camp made a difference to some of them.
(i hope it will. we put in a lot of effort. what we want see is not u all to be grateful but to put what u have learnt into action)
-the NTU people were very nice. we had offers and privileges.
-they even lend us the place though got exam going on)
-leaders showering love to campers.
-jiqing gave his chicken chop to huiling when she drop hers and he ate plain rice with nothing.
-peisi went to buy breakfast for us cos she know there was not enough.
and a lot more.

sat-
family day.
went to haw par villa.
so damn tired still have to be station i/c again!
we sat there and fell asleep!
many of them who went camp did not go.
think me and jiqing a bit paranoid after camp.
camp after-effect!
crazy man!

sun-
slept the whole day!

2006-06-17T03:05:00.000-07:00

Don't look now, but someone who's always been strictly business around you wants to move things into a new realm. Give them a warm response, but just because they want to get closer to you doesn't mean you need to go along with it. Examine your options and remember your high standards -- after all, that's part of the reason this person admires you so much. Your professional and social circles are expanding quickly, and it might be hard to catch up at first, but it will certainly be fun!

my horoscope today. it is telling me something. i will perserve. because i know i have made the right decision.

2006-06-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

My Personal Dna Report

2006-06-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

if i were to blog i will never finish.
shall update the more significant things.

went to cousin house to stay. to reflect, to study and to help take care of my twin nephew and niece. they are so adorable. but i realised the disadvantage of having twins. you cannot be bias.
oh and they keep clinging onto me. once i let them sleep then i go study they wake up crying. i had to help feed them cos they refused to drink when the maid feed them. when they cant sleep, i had to sing to make them sleep. it was terrible. i had to keep waking up in the night!

when a my cousin house i learnt some things.
-there is no everlasting in a relationship
love only last for 18months and after which is either wanting to benefit from ur partner or commitment. (tHats what experts says)

people u know what i am so lazy to type, continue another time. sorry.

2006-06-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

the day is absolutely great.
cos i did did some work.
morning i stayed at home then i found out that i am slacking and wasting my time.
called him but he had yet to finish his lesson.
but he allow me go his house to study.
thanks!
was so sian cos only me and her mum at home.
i am studying in his room and his mum is so nice to leave me alone.;)
what i mean is she always ask me to help myself and all.
talk to me nearly every half an hour.
was expecting that but she never.
around lunch time weilun kor came back then had a chat with him.
i dont mind having a brother like him. though he is irritating but he can be nice at times.
u better or else i complain to ur girlfriend. i will see she help u or her cousin me.
then i decided to go meet dan fang and hwee.
his mum ask me stay till he come back.
just finish saying then he is back.
then he insist to bring me all the way to TPY lib!
i said i dont want.
his mum say must.
then he say pls la later my mummy scold me again.
i let u come along cos i dont want u kena scolding k.
then when reached i ask him go home he want send me up.
i said u follow me i will quarrel with u.
then i walked off.
pls jiqing i appreciate it.
but when i say dont want i am serious.
it was good being with them.
i dont know why but i just like it.
hwee, fang, dan and zhen.
perfect!
shall we go ponggol end, one of this holidays?
message me K?

2006-05-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

morning went for english lesson after fang persuadsion. i was telling myself. i dont want to judge her. give her even more time though i already have. but. i shall not explain.

then history lesson was of course good.

then went compass with lene, xin and dan. the four of us again. once again the girl talks. i love it.
went kovan buy lunch for mummy with xin.

but she went home first then i go buy lunch and walked to the bus stop.
guess who i saw? jiqing with his mum!! thats amazing. usually he will msg me nearly everyday but today think he thought i got school till afternoon. and saw him. he was reading newpaper. then i walked towards them and greet his mum. his mum immediately lighten up. i dont know why but whenever she see me and my cousin qiufeng she will be excited. his mum insisted that he should send me home. he did. but when he wanted to step into my house. i thank him and say bye then lock the door. he is like huh. i know thats very evil of me but i really want keep a distant. i hope you understand.

2006-05-30T04:33:00.000-07:00

the day was meaningful as we went for the SP experience.
that is a lot more interesting than sitting in a boring class listening to mrs lim same old speech.
we get to experience a total different environment and equipments. they are very cool. machines u know.
me and xin met at hougang station at 7.05 thinking that we are late yet we waited for the rest till 8.20? again dan was the last.
and she wore yellow with jeans! so coincident! then we went in and sat there hearing the lecturer bragging abt SP. i mean we judge if its good.
really learn a lot of things still got free buffet and its nice.
but i still want to go NP- Early Childhood Education!
fang we must study hard and make it there. like i say what a waste without us.

after which went town with dan, xin and lene. the usuals. i am glad this day came. walked around and get _____ present. then as dan went to meet sand. xin and i went home sweet home.

tmr still thinking if i sld go for eng lesson though I am going for history. that fang trying to psycho my brain. i sld not have psycho her brain the other time! argh!

one learning point-
Do what you like(do something that you enjoy)
or
Like what you do(enjoy doing the something)?

2006-05-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

ptm was fine.
the whole meeting was me and the teacher talking.
i have decided to ground myself.
i know that my parents were disappointed though they kept quiet.

2006-05-25T03:31:00.000-07:00

day
well, supposed to be a very happy day but i got unhappy thoughts.
the feeling of after Os everything won't be the same. argh!
what i miss most really is the friendship i have. the spirit of SJC which is made up of all the bubbly girls.
if u have never been to a convent school, you can never feel it.
but thats life.
meeting is a pleasure, parting is a pain.
though throughout these five years, friends quarrel yet at the end of the day we love each other. we may not contract after that. but the memories. you look back 10 20 years down the road. u will smile at it.
a few people to mention
1)dan
thanks for tolerating my nonsense.
being there when i needed someone most.
although i really want to tell u i felt that i am putting more effort into our friendship.
and sometimes i am really so tired.
i know that deep inside, u certainly love and miss me right?
2)fang and hwee
thanks for being there for me when i needed someone.
sometimes i felt that i am taking u all for substitute.
maybe its because i dont know u all well.
as for fang i think i dont need to know u well cos i just had to ask myself!
as for hwee i really wanna know u more!
3)grace
thanks!
4)al-lene, ruixin, jasmine
thanks for the memories.
though i know that u ppl did try to heal back the friendship but somehow it didnt really work out well.
5)sarah, joan, veron
thanks for the times! for everything.
6)fiona and all CCA mates and classmates
thanks for helping me and cooperating.

one thing that ms chow said. thanks for serving the school. i hope you all had learnt something.
finally i can have this break! sec1 to 5 u know? i had been a leader since sec 1!
but really wanna thank mrs goh for giving me this opportunity to improve on my leadership skills. they will certainly help me.

~there is none like you. no one else touch my heart like you do.~

2006-05-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

Day
Oh gosh! Bad.
-dad lost his phone
-the voting
-I scolded jiqing
-mum gave attitude
-everyone’s not in a good mood

Can u believe I share the same fate with fang!!
Both also got 18 votes.
Seriously speaking courteousy should be in all of us.
What is there to recognize?

Hwee: I am sorry that I didnt help. I really dunno how I should react.
Jiqing: sorry that I screamed at u. u know when I bad mood and I see u I would just scream at u then after that I will feel very guilty but I will feel better.

2006-05-16T05:37:00.000-07:00

got back nearly all my results. people be prepared. dont faint. eng: 48%, chinese:72%, emaths: 44%!!, combined sciences: 28%!!, ss: 18%!, history: 58%. thats all. amaths not yet. dont wish to know. can u imagine? this is the first time i see this type of grades. i actually fail maths!! nobody believe that was what i score! but i am to blame of course! my aTTITUDE for this mid-year sucks! but i assure i will produce better grades. argh!!!

2006-05-12T22:21:00.000-07:00

my results were horrendous!
i will mug when the time comes. not to worry.
why? must they do that? they are making all of us in a difficult position.
dont u all know that in times of war people living in the war zones suffered the most?
can u imagine? they loved each other. they cried because of the quarrel.
but refused to give in!~
everyone is on a bad mood.
what a day!

2006-05-11T09:12:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION TO ALL YOUTH GROUP MEMBERS
dear all,
-there will be a leadership training camp at NTU on the 14th-16th june.
-3days 2nights
-it will be open to age group between 12-28.
-if you are interested and need a consent form it will be provided.
-this camp will make a difference in your life!
-so if you can make it please attend.
-there will only be 100 vacancies.
-first come first serve.
-attendance collating on 25th may.
-please kindly register before the date.
-u have to bring 33bucks on the day when u register.
-fixed rule: it is compulsory to attend the camp on all days.
sorry everyone for the inconvience. our youth mission blog cannnot be updated due to unforseen circumstances. any enquries feel free to contact me or tag me at the tag board. if you need my or qiufeng number just ask around. thanks!
ATTENTION TO COMM AND LEADERS OF THE CAMP
-kindly encourage secondary school students to attend.
-pass your proposals to qiufeng or myself by 15th may.
-our attire have to be neat and presentable.
=guideline: boys/guys- hair nicely combed, no spiky hair, tee shirts tucked in, covered shoes.
girls/ladies- plaited hair for long hair, tee shirts need not be tucked in, track shoes.
all: youth polo tee and bottom(dark-coloured pants)
-leaders have to attend all meetings. those who do not attend for the second time will be forfeited.

2006-05-11T08:53:00.000-07:00

Living In a Grateful World
Be grateful to those who have hurt or harm you,
for they have reinforces your determination.
Be grateful to those who have decieved you,
for they have deepened your insight.
Be grateful to those who have hit you,
for they have reduced your karmic obstacles.
Be grateful to those who have abandoned you,
for they have taught you to be independent.
Be grateful to those who have made you stumble,
for they havestrengthened your ability.
Be grateful to those who have denounced you,
for they have increased your wisdom and concentration.
Be grateful to those who have made you firm and resolute and helped in your achievements!

2006-05-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

try and read the following entry
i really cant understand
why some people take things so hard?
why some people cant take jokes when they can make fun of others?
why some people dont think before they speak?
why some people cant bear a thought for others?
why some people are so selfish?
why some people do not know that they have hurt others?

can't we
:) have a kuan rong de xin qu bao rong bie ren de guo cuo
-de rao ren chu que rao ren
(meaning: have a heart for others and forgive others)
:) zhen xi bie ren dui wo men de fu chu
(meaning: treasure what others sacriface for us)
:) ren
-ren yi shi feng ping lang jing, tui yi bu hai guo tian kong
(meaning: endure and tolerate and things will be more peaceful)
:) zhan zai bie ren de jiao du qu xiang xiang
(meaning: put yourself in others shoe)
:) he bie ren fen xiang suo yong you de
-zhi you dong de fen xiang suo yong you de ren cai suo shi zui fu you de
(meaning: its only when you know how to share with others are you really wealthy)

:( ren sheng zui bu xing de jiu shi bu zi dao zhi ji you duo xing fu
(meaning: the most unfortunate thing is not knowing how fortunate you are)
:( ren sheng zui da debu man jiu shi bu zhi zhu
(meaning: the most uncontentment is not contented with what u have)
:( ren sheng zui yi han de shi bu dong de zhen xi yan qian suo yong you
(meaning: the most disappinting thing is not knowing how to appreciate whatever u have)

in conclusion,
LIFE IS LIKE A PLAY,
PLAY YOUR PART!
DONT ALWAYS THINK THAT OTHERS
DIDNT TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU WANT,
TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU THINK ITS RIGHT!

i am not trying to pin-point on anyone this is just my general view.
i am also not trying to say that i am perfect,
i am also learning.

2006-05-08T05:44:00.000-07:00

[YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE UNEXPECTEDLY
AND EVERYTHING TOOK A TURN FOR THE BETTER.
YOUR WARM EYES, YOUR LAUGH,
THE SINCERE WAY U SPEAK
AND THE KINDNESS U SHOWED ME,
ALL BECAME A PART OF MY LIFE.

AS YOU UNFOLDED YOURSELF TO ME,
I DISCOVERED MORE AND MORE BEAUTY.
I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH
GENTLENESS IN ONE PERSON.
WITHOUT EVEN KNOWIN IT
YOU WERE SLOWLY MAKING A PLACE
FOR YOURSELF IN MY HEART.

IT USED TO SEEM SO HARD AT TIMES
TO FEEL SO CLOSE IN A RELATIONSHIP,
BUT ITS SO EASY TO FEEL CLOSE TO YOU.
I CANT TELL YOU HOW NICE THAT FEELS.
I REALIZE NOW THAT I HAVE NEVER KNOWN
WHAT IT MEANT TO BE LOVED
UNTIL I WAS LOVED BY YOU.]
~quoted by one of my friends~ (shall not mention her name)

*i have never felt this way
until i know you!
i used to think that i dont deserve to be loved and cared.
but you proved me wrong.
you taught me that true love
is between two heart held together with a force.
it doesnt matter who you are, what you have.
you see only what i have and not what i dont have.
you told me
there is no such thing as everlasting.
but you assured me that even if we were to go our separate ways.
you will treat it as fate had decided something else better for us both.
but those memories will be kept in a bottle with a cap seal
at the bottom of your heart that nothing can replace.
i felt like i am so selfish to secretly want to hold on to the feeling.
the surrrounding had made me misjudge my own feeling.
give me time to judge for myself.*
~quoted by myself~ (this is how i feel deep inside- interpret it in any form u want)

2006-05-07T03:37:00.000-07:00

the most important value you should have in you is TOLERANCE.
that's all i wanna say for this post.
-back to studying-

2006-05-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

~my hot and cold feeling again! argh! i hate it!~
tell me how do i know my own feeling.

"Leadership is a combination of strategy and character. If you must be without one, be without the strategy."
"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere."

people born in APRIL:
Active and dynamic
Decisive and haste but tends to regret
Attractive and affectionate to oneself
Strong mentality
Loves attention
Diplomatic
Consoling
Friendly and solves people's problems
Brave and fearless
Adventurous
Loving and caring
Suave and generous
Emotional
Revengeful
Aggressive
Hasty
Good memory
Moving
Motivate oneself and the others
Sickness usually of the head and chest
Easily get too jealous

Taurus:
Turn ons-
Stability and dependability characterize Taurus.
They like people who can blend and grow with them.
If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful.
They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of color and music.
Judge the life with them from purely materialistic point of view.
Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide.
Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.
Turn offs-
Taurus is very slow to anger (in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark) but you should not push your luck too much.
Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble.
Do not press him into a corner and if you do be prepared for a violent rage.
Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though this is on very rare occasions.
If you have a roving eye forget it because Taurus have can take the cake when it comes to being possessive.
They can be suffocating when being possessive about you.

the first one is not so true to me but the horoscope want was quite true. i dont get angry easily or can say will not but if u try and push your luck u will just die in my hands. and i f i were to make life difficult i can.

yohoo! worker party won for hougang. can u imagine this is the third time he is in! 20years of governing hougang. no wonder he dont have to worry.
number of votes for worker party: 13987
number of votes for PAP: 8306
when the result is out, i can hear the whole hougang resident cheering very loudly!

2006-05-03T05:11:00.000-07:00

the papers were really killing me!! it is so difficult! english normal but dont think I will do well. Ss was bad! emaths was worst and chemistry was the worst. i flunk it. crap.
i really dont understand why must they pin point on us.
we get scolded even for something we never do.
and this is not the first time already!

i dedicate my heart-felt thanks to
al-lene, jasmine, ruixin, grace, debra and soo kien for the puzzle.
my two darlings hwee and fang for the pencil case.
fiona for the necklace.
sarah for the mug.
peiyun and priscilla for the bag.
suhoon for the mug.
liz for the mug also.
qiufeng jie jie for the jacket.
weilun kor kor and qiufeng jie jie for the birthday cake and gift vocher.
jiqing for the bottle of hearts and sweets.
junwei for the soft toys-piglet.
xiuli and adi for the handphone chain.
peisi jie jie and peishan jie jie for the ear ring.
ziming kor kor for the clips.
all my uncles and aunties for the red packet.
francis kor for the clothes.
simin for the soft toy-winnie the pooh.
peiling jie jie and liping for the gifts.
dad and mum for the BBQ.
steph for the puzzle made up by photos(really very nice! all our memories.)
angie for the necklace.
tini for the shirt.
dan for the badget.
(i am really very glad that you understand my meaning of something meaningful and memorable. i see the sincerity though it's late)
everyone organising the celebration.
and all my cousins for the big birthday card
the NYDC meal.
making me the centre of attraction at four season restaurant.
the spanking. and butt is damn sore after it. and some still can stand and watch show. special thanks to those who gave me the birthday bash!
and everyone who wished me.
sorry if i missed out anyone.
and to all those who told me that they heaven give u ppl are forgiven i understand that u all are busy.

and pls ppl dont say until i so noble i am just doing what i can!
i really feel blessed.
i always recieves alot of presents.
and sometimes from people whom i do not contribute.
really thanks.
in all, thanks to all!

2006-04-30T08:10:00.000-07:00

today was indeed a great day for me! thanks everyone! even a simple message or a simple wish meant a lot to me.
very tired. and am very worried cos i never study anything at all.
oh thanks to my group of bubbly cousin!
guess what they do?
ask jiqing and junwei carry me then they spank my butt 17times!!! what is this? and all my darlings can say nvm la smack some more! so irritating! still can take turns!! argh! and i was crying for help and qiufeng jie still can stand there and laugh!! i am so angry with u!
i am really very tired. update another time ba.
love from everyone and i love everyone!

2006-04-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

this song that fang introduce is really very nice.
read the lyric as u enjoy the song in my blog.
u may have to wait for awhile before it start playing.

Early in the morning
I put breakfast at your table
And make sure that your coffee
Has its sugar and cream
Your eggs are over easy
Your toast done lightly
All that's missing is your morning kiss
That used to greet me
Now you say the juice is sour
It used to be so sweet
And I can't help but to wonder
If you're talking 'bout me
We don't talk the way we used to talk
It's hurtin' so deep
I've got my pride, I will not cry
But it's makin' me weak
I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me, ooh, baby
I fought my way through the rush hour
Trying to make it home just for you
I want to make sure that your dinner
Will be waiting for you
But when you get there you just tell me
You're not hungry at all
You said you'd rather read the paper
And you don't want to talk
You like to think that I'm just crazy
When I say that you've changed
I'm convinced I know the problem
You don't love me the same
You're just going through the motions
And you're not being fair
I've got my pride, I will not cry
Still I can't help but care
I'm not your superwoman (Oh, no, no)
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human)
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me
I'm not your superwoman (Hoo, hoo, hoo, ooh, ooh, hoo)
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down (Hey)
And think that everything's okay (Don't let me down, don't you let me down)
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human, yeah)
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token (Ooh, ooh) of love from you to me
Oh, baby, look into the corners of your mind
I'll always be there for you through good and bad times
But I can't be that superwoman that you want me to be
I'll give my love everlasting love if you'll return love to me
I'm not your superwoman (Oh, no, oh, no)
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human)
This girl needs more than occasional
Hugs as a token of love from you to me (Oh, no)
If you feel it in your heart
And you understand me
Stop right where you are
Everybody sing along with me
Hoo, hoo, hoo, ooh, ooh, hoo
Hoo, hoo, hoo, ooh, ooh, hoo
I'm the kind of girl that can treat you so sweet
But you got to realize that you got to be sweeter to me, oh, ho, ho
Hoo, hoo, hoo, ooh, ooh, hoo
Hoo, hoo, hoo, ooh, ooh, hoo
I need love
I need just your love
I'm not your superwoman (Oh, no)
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down (You can let down)
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human (I'm only human)
This girl needs more than occasional (Hey, hey, hey, hey)
Hugs as a token of love from you to me
I'm not your superwoman

2006-04-25T05:47:00.000-07:00

day
sch as usual.
both FT and co-FT never come.
class was managable.
after sch went RM to help sarah with her maths.
on my way back in the bus i didnt sit properly and i hurt my tail bone again.
was damn pain.
i cant understand why is it that i just didnt sit properly for 1 second and it hurts for hours?
so i came home and sleep hoping that i will forget the pain
but it was unbearable.
but managed to slept in the end.
slept till 8.
angie tried to wake me up then she hit my butt
and i gave her attitude.
sorry darling. i am really sorry.
sayang. did i frightened u??
sorry i was not feeling well.
i didnt mean it.

~i got my pride. i will not cry. still i cant help but care!~

2006-04-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

yest
zacc and claudia 1 month birthday. my niece and nephew. super cute. i look at them and i found out all my cousin and nephew and nieces really got something that look similar that once u see u will know we are one family.
party at my cousin condo function room. had high tea food was damn nice.
and was standing at the swimming pool.
meishan and i and a group of us was talking.
then i was suaning her and she kick me and i lost my balance so off i go into the pool!
thanks hor meishan.
then something even more irritating happened!
i dont wish to mention it but what's with that roll?!

2006-04-22T23:40:00.000-07:00

Ways of waking me up
Dad: pull away all my pillows bolsters and anything I am hugging.
Mum: rubbing my buttock and smack it really hard that I will jump up!
Steph: keep smacking both my buttocks with both hands! (super violent, this girl)
Angie: pulling me up from my bed and dragging me to the bath room.
Qing: shocking me (e.g. late for school already, quick! Even there is no school.)
Dan: sprinkle water on me.
In conclusion dont shake me cos I will sleep even more. As I feel even more comfortable if u shakes me. The best is hit me a lot of times. As u knows I am scared of pain. So mummy way is the best.

Ways of disciplining me
Dad: talking to me, still dont listen scold, still dont work take away privilege. (e.g. hand phone bill too high pay yourself!)
Mum: nag, still no use go and reflect on your action but she will say things that make me super guilty.
Both parents know that I am very easily guilty so they will make me reflect. (e.g. ur this action cos so many people to worry for u go and think about it)
Steph: nag and scold. Not working smack my buttock to shut me up cos I am damn scare of pain!
Other than this three people no one else discipline me.
In conclusion I am not such a hard child. No wonder dad and mum dont have to use cane at all. Daddy cannot bear to hit me. mummy dont see the need besides I cannot use hard way to discipline I will be worst than u ever want to control it.
It is so interesting to hear about how I was brought up. If I can be discipline in this way then I dont see why some parents need to cane their children. I dont believe in spare the rod spoil the child. It is because I am brought up this way that is why I am so guai kay!

2006-04-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

let the spirit endures...

2006-04-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

day
fine.
went jasmine house.
i can study there, serious.
i am so in love with her dog!!
something funny:
me and dan act out when jasmine meet her future boyfriend scene! haha.
gosh! i somehow think me and dan a bit action! we just act scenes ut like nobody's business.
in short, it was a fun day.
~tired~

2006-04-16T04:19:00.000-07:00

i am gonna update about some feelings.
it had got to do with family love.
i realised that our parents esp those traditional family do not know how to show that they love and care for their children.
they may not show it in one way or another but feel it with your heart u will realise how fortunate u r!
it is also a reflection to me cos i too often take it for granted.
both my parents love me.
dad always dont show out but i know he care cos in his simple action he show.
he likes to give me surprises which i sometimes feel very pleasant.
mum shows out in a way.
she will be very worried if i dont feel well or what thus i often hide it from her.
she will scared until she herself faint.
many people thinks that i am the only child so compare to them i get more love
but actually all our parents love us as equal.
they gave birth to us so we are their flesh and blood.
sometimes they tend to show bias-ness
but deep inside they care.
to those who think they are loved,
pls shower more love to ur other siblings who are not as loved.
to those who think they are not love,
it is not true but if u think it is true maybe u should think why?
izz because of your attitude?
being a parent is not always easy.
cos they always get criticise by us.

the day
morning went see the physician for my back.
i hurt my tail bone.
the bottom of my tail bone a little damage
then need to take the medicine which i swear was awful.
doc suggest that i rest at home then i told him my exams coming
so he say u go school then must rotate between sitting down and standing up.
and when i sit down should sit upright
and pe should try not and do too vigorous exercise.
had to go home rest as instructed by doctor.
then since weilun kor kor driving me
i decided to go take a look at the youth group activity and gathering.
on the way weilun kor kor told me about jiqing again.
cos i ask him why their mum like me so much?
then he told me cos i have changed him.
so i say i know.
then she told me everyone was like giving up on him
yet my appearance was a turning point.
also told me that besides fighting in school and being a rebellious child
he also cheated in an exam before and it was his mock test for Olevel!
and kena school caning before!! must have done something really wrong.
but i want thank him for boosting this confidence in me
that my nagging and advising can make a difference in somebody out there.
i may not realise but it happened.
making a difference to one is better than being part of the crowd.
watching charity show now.
and i dont know why whenever i see them say about the patient and those who need help
my tears will start flowing.
it is really very sad and we r really very fortunate.
i could not concentrate on studying alone!
and thought of going dan house and study
but steph dont allow.
she say i go her house she will scold her for not considering about me and next time she see her she will make sure she smack her.
steph: so u think u very cool la? but i know all u do is for the welfare of me. THANKS!

2006-04-13T09:57:00.000-07:00

i managed to endure the pain!
but i could not control my tears.
it was worth it anw.

HAPpY BiRtHdaY mRs Ng!

i tried to help and make a difference to their thinking.
i tried at least!

i tried to tell my friend about what i think of her
and she burst at me.

is being kind so difficult?

i really meant well.

if you are not my friend i won't even care, alright?

i want to as care free.

i want not to always have to think differently from others.

argh! save me from this misery!!

2006-04-12T01:47:00.000-07:00

Life is all but choices, good or bad, you have to decide. No one knows yourself better. Believe in yourself, trust your choices, and live with no regrets.

2006-04-12T01:09:00.000-07:00

today eng class had a chat with sheryl, ruiwen and hwee.
the problem kind of lies in the monitors itself.
cos to me as leaders it is very important that we have an imge a leader sld be.
if we ourselves cannot even be a role model how is the rest supposed to follow?
being a leader is not something easy.
it really requires commitment and the most important again your attitude and tone.
the problem with our class is also the cliques.
and most important nobody wants to compromise.
and they just took the first impression as it is.
can they like appreciate what they have.
sch is not all abt studying alright.
and i feel sad for these ppl.
they learnt nothing a convent girl sld be.
i hate the changing world.
i can see mrs ng trying to change.
i may not like her a lot at least i know i had to respect her!
can they not judge her before they even bother to go and know more abt her?
can they put themselves into the shoes of the teachers?
is just a simple asking yourself,
if i am her will i like it or what will i think?
and i learnt that a person's popularity is not shown.
it can only be realise deep between one self.
one may appear to be alright to everyone but deep inside nothing.
one may appear to be normal but everyone thinks well of her.
i dont wish to say any more.
really very saddening and tiring.

2006-04-10T02:49:00.000-07:00

a pretty sick day.
but i really wanna thanks u ppl out there who are concern abt me and my health. but i know better if my body can take it. i dont like to be treated as a very sick person. i hope that it will not affect me. perhaps to u ppl its something scary and shocking. but i am pretty used to it. no big deal to me. i just needed rest. i need to relax a little at times. and i got a whole lot of ppl taking care of me and God has been blessing me. and last of all, as u ppl know i like to remain low profile, so i hope that less ppl will worry for me. to ppl who is thinking why am i not see-ing a doc. cos i will be having PFT test this sat and i wat to get it all over and done with. see doc sure will have MC. but if i m still not feeling well on sat i will skip PFT.
really thanks to all who care!

2006-04-09T04:42:00.000-07:00

the day
bad day to start off.
suppposed to reach jun wei house at 7.30
but i woke up at 7.15 by jiqing.
he come my house to go with me then i was still sleeping.
i dont know how he managed to wake me up la.
but i fainted as soon as i woke up then my maid was like panicking like crazy
he asked jiqing go in and help.
i heard he was so calm he carry me up
then put me on bed lift up my legs and let me rest then i was better.
so woke up and faint again.
and again.
so i fainted 3 times in 1hr and i
din know what happen to me or what did he really do.
just felt someone taking care of me and the feeling is so somfortable.
the third time he held me to the window for some fresh air
and drank some warm water then i vomitted and felt better.
so we went to jn wei house in cab.
then we practise and we all perform well la.
i could not debrief so he help me do it.
and i got to say he really really changed a lot.
everyone was worried for me.
they were like are u okay?
and providing me with all sorts of comfort.
weilun kor gave me sweet which makes me feel a whole lot better.
woah! expert now huh.
really must thank this two brothers who had been taking care of us all this while.
and i really can see the changes in you guys.
mummy knows abt it this time and guess what she say in front of all my cousins?!
u see so fortunate of u to have someone like jiqing.
must be grateful.
dont always mix with other guys
then never notice someone so sweet so caring standing right in front of u!
then she gave me that look.
it freak me off.
i just scream mummy can u stop ur nonsense.
why ppl around me r so action?!

2006-04-08T03:28:00.000-07:00

Morning went qing house to practice the singing for tmr. Sorry that I did not put in effort. I was sleepy la, I will do better tmr. No worries.
Then the four of us went swimming, weilun qing qiufeng and me. actually angie want come with me but dunno what happen to her she was depressed! So I suggest that I ask her baby come talk to her. she gave me a smile. And I am aching now. Think too long never swim la.
After which I wanted go home then his mum call ask us go their house eat lunch but qiufeng jie jie had to work so weilun kor kor send her go work. So left the two of us. His mum make sure I got eat then went out.
While eating he told me a lot about his life. Btw, weilun kor kor came back le by then. When he was young, he got beaten by his dad nearly everyday so slowly he learned how to fight with people to achieve what he wants. I finally found a real life example of how spanking a child can make him or her become more violent! Then all he know is his dad get even more angry with him and he got more beating. His dad beat with a belt and across his butt and he had to keep quiet if not kena even more. Nobody can help him speak up even his mum. Then his mum nearly go crazy cos his mum dote him a lot. The funniest part is though he know its painful lesson he still fight with ppl until when he was in p5 when his dad beat him he nearly fight back! So violent! Gosh! Then every time he go school teacher will talk to him but he dont care then teacher told him is u dont want to torture your skin then u sld stop but matter did not improved. The teacher finally gave up and say if someone enter your life and he or she can change u, u had better treasure your whole life. At that point of time he din know what it meant. Then he told me after knowing me he change completely thus kena less from his dad or can say no more. So I had actually made a difference in his life without me knowing it! Now I got it. Sorry that I treat u so bad sometimes.
He even give me some advise! U know he is like my mirror. Shooting me back with words I always tell him. He told me it is because you think differently thats why u r unique to all of us, to me utmost. So it is not so bad to think differently from others. He also say though sometimes I like to surprise u w somethings u never expect but thats me la. it is fortunate to do something for u. one last thing he and junwei had been friends since p3 till now!! They hardly quarrel but they never expect that they both act fell for me! some more jun wei is 1 year after qing. And he is also one year younger than him.
Qing: I really feel very bad. U sld have tell me all this earlier. Really very sorry. But I really hope u can find someone better as u gf. I m not fit to be la. we can be the best of friends kay? I din know all this while u were a changed person. And I din know I m the one who has made that difference in your life!
I had asked for permission before publishing this kay!

2006-04-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

yest
fine day. no sss for us. so great right?! and ms ong came to relief our class!! and she taught us vectors in half an hour which takes mr lim one month to teach!! the feeling of her teaching us is so great! in the night, there was practise for this sun performance at old folks' home. jiqing started the practise for me since i have not reach then everyone was like so irritated with him. cos he make them hiss so long. too bad la, they still prefer me. though i must admit that u can sing better. the problem is when u ask ppl to do something u cannot be so impatient. must slowly step by step. the way u say it also affect.
today
swim meet. had duty. ms chow put me from prize table to scorer to mass swim. gosh! mass swim was fun i think. was doing duty and the ppl who came out of the pool were so wet when they touched me i felt so uncomfortable. and thanks to hwee she was so wet and she hugged me. i screamed! ms yeo really very action. then back to scorer and had to work with mano and PQ! the most irritating thing! the sec 5s got was left out for interclass and we had to get the last timing! it s not fair for us! u know how much i hope my class will win. i put in so much effort to make sure they can swim. pester them message them. it s already key in anw. had to went back sch for creative writing.
shall not elaborate. am tired.

2006-03-31T05:55:00.000-08:00

mission today
it is much better than yest. before the break was about family. isabel, one of the mission team members shared her true life story. she is so poor thing. i shall not reveal the content. just that she really went through a lot. and i learnt from her no matter what wrong they did they are still your parents. their love for u may not been shown. they may not express it but u must know that they love u because u are their flesh and blood. but as children we can show how much we love them and thankful towards them. cos once u lose them u will never get a chance to express your love for them.
the second part is about friendship. IJ friends are friends for life! i am really proud to be an IJ girl. 11 years in a convent school. the feeling cannot be express in words. it is the feeling u feel deep inside. in SJC, the friends that i would like to thank specially is meidan and huifang.
meidan: our friendship is a feeling i feel deep inside my heart. but i really want to thank u for the times u stood by me. u may not understand me alot but out of all the friends i met u understand me most. i may not like some of the things u do sometimes but i really just love u just the way u are. i dont know how u feel but i just want to tell u how i feel.
huifang: i have known u for merely three years. but at times when things go wrong i felt that comfort in telling u cos u understand how i feel. in terms of friendship and relationship. u advise me on what to do, encouraged me. the feeling is just great to know that someone will be there to listen to u, think of a solution with u and think of how others feel. i hope we can get into the same course and remain as how we are now.
another person i would like to thank is canice, my primary sch friend. canice: i really cannot believe it that it has been five years yet we r still so closely in touch. updating about our lives. and when things go wrong u just know. and i know no matter how far i am u will be there to help me and encourage me.
lastly, i like to thank God for all this wonderful friends. please bless each and every of them.

2006-03-30T05:19:00.000-08:00

had mission.
it was not that useful cos i felt that what they want to say is what i am always thinking. i hope tmr will be more interesting.
after which went RM with debra, ruixin, jasmine, grace and meidan.
i hate the feeling.
had to go back sch for Chinese creative compo writing.
all of them dont feel like going. me? of course like the rest. but my heart tells me to go. for 2 reasons: 1) i dont want to waste money, we often dont know how fortunate we are to get some things others dont but we dont know how to appreciate. 2)i felt that the teacher is here to teach us and if we all dont go she will be very sad.
after that went CP with dan n xin.
we talk a lot. they are right. i have to be more fierce and strict and firm. but i dont hope that we have to be brought out using the “hard” way. maybe that is how i m brought up. does using the hard way a need to get ppl to listen to u? like qiufeng jie say the world may not be the same but so long as u did ur part, ppl will follow u. changing 20% of the society is better than just following the trench. i felt that we have often forgot who we are and what God has made us and want us to be. the purest heart had been polluted as u grow older.
a simple comparison.
in the past people go for education because they want to render service to the society, now people go for education to earn a living.
qnd one thing i can assume them i wont pamper my child if i have. i will set ground rules when they r young and i will let them know that u have to bear consequences for what u have done, however i will not beat them at all. i will punish them instead. they can still learn from that. most importantly u need to build strong relation with ur child so that he or she will listen to u will share his or her thoughts with u.

2006-03-25T23:32:00.000-08:00

yest i really really was like super high!
first had chem lesson with qiufeng in e morning.
then went sch for AC.
had pizza treat from mrs tan.
mrs goh paid for our CCA tee in return for our good work.
went CAFE CARTEL to have dinner with al-lene, jiawen, jasmine, meidan, ruixin and i.
took lots of picture, maybe for me only.
after which send al-lene and jasmine home and the rest went Ice Cube for dessert.
day ended as we took bus home!

2006-03-23T04:49:00.000-08:00

day past so quickly wthout me realising it!!
AC AC and AC again! though we kena scolding and have to stay back so late as late as 7pm! so sch from 7am to 7pm! but i learned important values.
the most vivid want was to remain calm in times of trouble. think of solution to the problem instead of the person to blame.
im really restless to continue.
pardon me.

2006-03-11T07:31:00.000-08:00

supposed to go get stuff for next week performance but peishan jie jie volunteer to go by herself. so i was free but qiufeng jie jie had assignment to complete so i had to go shopping alone to relieve stress but how would i ever did it alone? i dragged jiqing along and of course he agreed. so nice of him. treat u next time. i bought earrings, bottoms and made myself a pair of new spects at my cousin's friend shop. their spects are super unique! i like it! made orange one. cos jiqing say the orange one look nice on me instead of the pink one. trusted his taste for once. ;) it costed 180dollars after discount but my cousin gonna pay for me. then had lunch. i ate very little like usual then i stopped eating but he insisted that i must finish or else he wont go. so i forced till i cant. and the best part was he finished it up for me! can u imagine its left-overs by me?! anw, the day ended when we went big aunt house together and as usual people start their teasing. whatever.
tmr going for kite flying in the morning games in the afternoon include all ball game then at night BBQ! i so look forward!
mon had to go sch for chem then studying with dan later.
and another thing i looked forward to.
3b gathering.
mrs ng gonna treat us pizza then maybe will go watch movie. morning the rest going sentosa which i am not interested.
I AM SO EXCITED!

2006-03-10T07:19:00.000-08:00

Day.
Last day of term but SJC had feast day and sports day celebration. A rather eventful day.
Feast day mass and I had duty for AV. Act I chose to go up cos I dont wanna participate in mass. We had a good laugh while the rest had scolding. We were playing bingo and my juniors were like so amazed with the game! Gosh! They were very close with me but I tried to avoid cos I dont hope to miss them aot when I leave SJC. We had went through a lot together. Esp scolding!!
Then we had to help mrs ho load stuff for the prize table to her car while al-lene they all help us go mac buy breakfast. Then we proceed to the stadium and the whole 156 was like a school bus of SJC! Then we helped mrs ho with prize table also on duty for crowd control. I find it fun and gelradine thinks I am crazy. Then second half of it we were more like talking rather than doing duty. Overall championship again goes to saint Elizabeth. Three cheers for them! And the most important news: 5B GOT IN SECOND FOR CLASS RELAY!
-end-

2006-02-25T01:54:00.000-08:00

day
supposed to have tution with qiufeng jie jie. so i woke up at 8 to prepare then i recieved a call from wen xiong kor kor that her sister is sick. he need to go schoolthen he beg me take care of her precious younger sister. i cant say no right. just kidding la. i wll go even if he never ask cos she might just faint and nobody at home its dangerous. so i went her house then start studying chem. then had to go meet steph at town so i decided to bring qiufeng jie jie to jiqing house then ask him take care of her. but guess what he actually say? huh. how take care of her? she is a girl leh. feel like boxing him can!! then i say ur future da sao u still dont want faster take care and i hold him responsible for her.
went to see steph bf, on the way saw ms ria(last year chem teacher) with her bf also( an ang mok and much taller than her).
then did some shopping with steph alone cos i requested! went espirit to get a bag. we share. then to zara for her bottom. after which to OP to buy my top. then we separate for awhile cos i met my cousin then she say she dont want waste time. then i walked past Perlini's silver. they having sale so i went in was like squeezing through then i happen to saw a earring so i decided to but for her. queue was long so i had to queue. when in the queue guess who was in front of me? steph!!! both were like so surprised. then we ate lunch and she went back work i went to jiqing house to study. history-Japan. not much got in, decided to come online. alright, guess i sld so back to history. not much time left.

2006-02-24T04:09:00.000-08:00

the week has been real fine.
but i just cant understand why cant i find a true friend in SJC.
all the friendship i had to put in effort.
i care about them more than they care.
i know i appear strong and fine.
thats cos i always put up a brave front.
and i felt like such a failure.
my passion is to change my friends.
but i just cant cos they are people who cant accept opinion.
thats badabt school.

anw had awards rehearsal today and it was kind of tiring.
as teachers and mrs das demand for better quality product.
mrs tan wanted me to ask someone to help me cos she felt like i kept running around.
but they ae all my friends how am i supposed to order them around.
besides they always had to rely on me in the end.
so i rather do it myself.

tmr will be going qiufeng jie jie house in the morning. she will be giving me tution. and i heaven even touched her homework. die liao. after which guess i will be going jiqing house to study. first going town before going to study and family gathering in the night. busy day.

2006-02-21T20:25:00.000-08:00

Today
Was like normal. But had monitor investiture. Just felt so malu-ating. Hwee was choosen as the president of the first monitor board. Felt so proud that out of so many competitors she emerged as a president. When she was saying the pledge my heart stop beating for her. I was so afraid she will read the wrong thing. But thank God. It was perfect. But she blushed like hell. So proud of u darling. But I hope this role maximizes your potential and teach u how to be a better leader. But studies are more important. Dont bother too much. Congra! Fang had to go up stage to receive her good progress cert. haha. She was like so embarrassed!
Yest
Didnt know why but was in a damn good mood. Came hoem from a dreadful school day. Slept but ask Qiufeng (his sis to wake me up). Then both of us met. We met at J8 food court then she talked to me. she was really very nice. I wished I had a sis or a bro. but maybe I sld also be grateful that I have done thus making my life more peaceful. Then we met the rest. Weilun and qiufeng and jiqing. Watched I not stupid too again. Nice! We act bought a set of combo. 2drinks and pop corn. They respected my decision of sweet flavour but act they like salty. Only me and my cousin, qiufeng like so we ate most of it. And I act shared drink with all of them. We just pass down the drink and we drank like nobody’s business. And I act did not cry. I did it! I just cant drop tears in front of guys. But the tears was like coming out but it did not. All of them cried till eye was like damn red except me! he was surprised that I was so strong. End day with supper and took the same bus home.
This section is for the 2 ppl mentioned below, try not to read if u r not the 2 person I mention. Thanks!
qing: ur sis is nice lo. Appreciate her pls! if u dont I will hate u. she is so considerate and so worried for u! I changed my opnion of her ever since yest! She is nice.
Dan: really sorry that I didnt go studying with u!! I really dont like the way u say things. I am like already very guilty. Besides u went with sandy in the end. I mean u sld think why u r treated like this sometimes. Have u ever forsake someone? Know u for 5 years already but u still dont seem to understand me sometimes. And its the same like u dont want to hear some things I told u but I also dont like some things u tell me right? But I still kept quiet and listen. As a friend u dont always have to like what others tell u. just wanna tell u that u dont like some things, ppl might not like also.

2006-02-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday.
Bad day. Had cca. So many things to do. I am the only one there running worrying. The rest just watch.
I am under stress. Really. Studies and family gathering is stressful. Btw, get your facts right. I am not affected by him. He is not in my list of stress too.
Today.
Morning had tution from qiufeng jie jie. She teach me is good but she is strict. Though I am her most pampered cousin but she still insist that I have to concentrate and do work. Then I went home to change for family gathering at zijun jie jie house. Meet his mum on the bus and she say a lot of things to me. I just kept quiet and listen. I must admit she is a little naggy. Haha.
And I was not late today! Finally! Heard he kena scolding from his mum thus was late or I was lucky. Haha. Then he had a forfeit from meilng jie. He got to participart in e game! And the game was created by me. hahaha. so everyone had to look for partner. He sabo weilun kor kor. My rules were winner will be forfeited. And unfortunately they really won. So the banana and orange juice were mixed and they had to drink. Blindfolded they are supposed to guess the content of the juice if they guess wrongly have to drink another cup. Then peiling jie jie decided to help me sabo him. We gave weilun kor kor a chance to take out blindfold then he pass all the juice to his brother. He drink without knowing he drank 2cups. Then he drank coke afterwards which made him vomit and he did it on me cos I was standing beside him! Ewww, it was like so disgusting!
Tmr.
Will be a fine new day. I hope.

2006-02-15T06:50:00.000-08:00

day was fine.
really very tired.
i hate school.
cos all i get is tests and homework!
i dont know my purpose of studying
but i have my dreams.
friends around me they give me enlightenment, encouragement
but who can really be bothered about what i feel deep inside.
they only know that i am a good girl and i am just normal.
yes i like to be low profile but all i hope is that my friends to be a little aware of others feeling and live together in harmony.
and friends should always make u feel belong.
but i am sure i will miss SJC and my friends after graduation.

went home after sss and went CP with dan to get some stuff from popular.
thanks gal for accompanying me.
i bathe and i was chatting with jiqing about sunday celebration.
we had a bet again. this time whoever is late will have to buy a meal for the other party!
I WILL BE EARLIER THAN YOU!

talk to girl. she is a smart girl but i dont understand who and where she learn to tell so much lies. i dont her sis dont the group of us dont. so i gave her a sounding scolding of course. she is scared of me i can see. not cos i am fierce but cos i know what she is scare of kay, darling. but she did make me nearly wanna spank her butt!! she ask me what is wrong with telling lies! but that shows she is only innocent. i must make her stop telling so much lies! she is only eight. i really hope she can be a refined young lady in a few years time. if she ever read this, girl, i hope u understand that all we do is really for ur own good. love you despite how naughty u r!

2006-02-14T02:45:00.000-08:00

HAPPPY VALENTNE DAY once again.

today was a great day! however, was then spoilt, when i had a bad headache.
i didnt wanna show how bad it was as i could see everyone enjoying themselves.
so i slept for like 3hrs once i reached home. it was spinning like crazy!!
when i woke up i realised that my parents had a quarrel! on valentine day? i didnt know what to tell them as i really didnt know what happen. dont wish to know either. i hate to know who fault was it.
all the rest went for celebration. i didnt see the need to thus i rejected all the invitation to be fair. Jiqing came over and pass e my present. i really like it alot, thanks. you are love by me.
thanks everyone for the little gifts and sorry to those i neglected!!
my gift was just a simple message and well wishes to all. i felt that although words cant express anything but they are all from the bottom of my heart.

went studying with dan yest. i dont understand why everyone is not worried about Os! and i am like really really very scared and worried.i want every single of us to make it. i feel so sad to see people crying on result day. some regretting they they had not study hard thats why like that. they hope that time will turn back for them. we had already wasted one year, guys! no more time to waste. pls work hard! N to O is a huge difference. get serious and settle down to work!

P.s. SEC5B won the total defence designing! YEAH! creadits goes to debra-our designer, yvonne and peiyi for modelling and to me and hwee for buying the stuff and keep asking them to bring and do. haha. i love my class. we together must prove to the school that we are good students!

and oh no! next tue is monitors investiture!! can i skip that part?

2006-02-10T06:58:00.000-08:00

ouch! guess what? the result that i dont hope to get has appeared! B3. what am i supposed to do. i have the freedom to choose it but i dunno. what if i retake and took the same marks i will be wasting time. and if i retake i will have one more subject to worry about. if i dont, i just feel i can do better than that. misery. thanks for those comment anw.
simin: i did it out of helpful-ness. dont ask me how i ppl. i just go according to their problem and tell them what i am thinking. the end.
i am really very tired.
school isn't any better.
after CCA went RM for lunch with soo kien. i act didnt eat the entire day! went to delifrance.
the meeting was fine but i am not!
tmr will be better.(:

2006-02-09T00:21:00.000-08:00

O RESULT WILL BE RELEASING TMR!! HELP! I AM REALLY VRY SCARED!
school again.
fine.
i feel that mon tue and wed are the intensive homework day then thu and fri will be more slack.
sigh~
but 2 test tmr!
i m dying!
CCA tmr also!
but lauughter still everywhere.
CME lesson was certainly a relaxing period.
enjoyed the air-son.
recess is my favourite lesson cos all of us wld eat then settle down and talk.
nobody understand the emotional feeling u feel with ur friends around.
FAng: smile more kay?

good luck to all taking O result tmr, including myself.
=)

2006-02-08T05:08:00.001-08:00

school.
basically i m trying very hard to develop feelings to go there.
i love my classmates and friends in sch. they make chlife worth cherishing.
but homework and test are all we get. i know its for our own good.
but i really cant understand why i am not as hard-working as i used to be.
i am just soin love with amaths lesson.
laugh and laugh.
suan and suan.

recieved a call from a girl that must have probably run out of the mental hospital.
oh and her BHB-ness is just so disgusting.
no words or expression could describe the torture of my ears.

and he call, said some wierd things that make me go mute and blank.
pls let me hae my own peaceful life!!
SINGLES TOTALLY ROCKS!

2006-02-08T05:08:00.000-08:00

2006-02-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

laughter everywhere. its good!

the day:
lesson is boring.
school no better.
piles of hoomework to do.
tonnes of studying to do.
friends are my only reason to look forward to sch!
how miserable can it get?

i look forward to weekend! is that me?
HELP! in depression!

2006-02-05T03:02:00.000-08:00

a pleasant day.:))
i feel so guilty that i am just waiting to eat.
but his mum just refused to let me help.
and i cant understand ehy whenever i come to his house i will have to stay for dinner.
and her mum will cook a lot thinking that i can eat them all.
i appreciate it.
yes.
but my sense of guilt.
thanks auntie.
another thing why do she have to treat me so nice.
do i deserve?
all e words that i tell u are just what I THINK.
the change in u has to do with ur own determination.
i can say a thousand words and still nothing happen right?

waiting for dinner to be ready.
i am so bored!
school tmr.
tired.

2006-02-04T05:34:00.000-08:00

a beautiful saturday.

another memorable day with my friends.

i cherish all this short moments.

i know it will not be the same one year later
but since i have it now i am grateful that God had blessed me and my friends.

the day:
went Ngee Ann poly openhouse with xin, hwee, fang and dan.
a long journey.
walked around.
my choice is still early childhood education.
its my passion and something i interested in.
went to ms ong house after which. the curry that her mum cook is so nice.
yummy!
i just love the feeling.
but soon after i had to leave.
cos dad and mum is waiting downstairs.
as usual we are late for our family gathering!
and this time again Jiqing reached there before i do.
so my punishment was to bring up the spirit by leading.
he was laughing at me.
then qiufeng jie came up and
scold him, say he so not gentleman say he so bad to do that to me.
so he cant take it and decided to take over.
too bad.
who ask u go and like someone that have a lot of supporters?

this is esp for meidan.
we really need to trash and communicate one day.
we lack of it.
i am not sure why u r afraid of me.
i scold u is because i am really very angry with u.
after all its all ur choice. i am only guiding u.
and as a friend, i wont leave u alone.
i feel that u need help. thats all.
smile always k?
love!

2 feb 2006

2006-02-02T01:59:00.000-08:00

school as usual. was damn tired. although many people did not come but the laughter is still there. the before recess lesson was kind of boring. then CME. laugh and lauh and laugh. the funniest, me and yolanda exchange sick and ms toh act knows about it! then everything else was just fine and for chem lesson. mrs ng was not here and no work for us so we bond. and michelle kena suan by us. since dan is not here she needs substitute. so we laugh and laugh and laugh again. so crazy! a really lethagic day. but i love it. i love sch cos my friends are bubbly!! and i thank them for the sweet memories!

1 feb 2006

2006-02-02T01:38:00.000-08:00

i had to update on the fun i had this two days! but first an apology to my dearest sweetheart, i know i m supposed to watch I not stupid too with u before with my friends but i did it the other way round. sorry. but i felt that it is important. ya. sorry. u taught me to weight the importance right? sorry.
alright! had school as usual then sss for maths and then to movie with the babes. xin, mira, al-lene, jas, dan, hwee and me!! yeah. we went century square to buy tickets only to realise the queue! then we went tampines mall and they only have it at 6.10 so we went al-lene house to do homework! nicez! then we were late so we took cab go. then the movie was damn nice. recomended. my tears act just flow out. i really cant control. and it all started with the ublic caning for one of the guys all until what both parents did for their child. it was funny too. u laugh and u cry. it was really a good day till 9plus. dad talk to me in the night and i cried again. i dont know why and i hugged him tight. i wish someone more huggable was there. and had to rush through homework. and i recieve a message from dan that she is not going school tmr cos she had to go pay respect to her late grandfather. so irritating!

2006-01-31T06:40:00.000-08:00

the atmosphere of new year no longer there but its still the bond i my family. although tiring but u will never know the feeling u felt deep inside. i love them all:)
eve: reunion at my house. was so crouded that we need to use the ouside. 16 tables and 12 per table. btw, not everyone is present! then the youngster had some games while the adults talk and talk till dawn. we the youngster bond and bond till dawn too. so we stayed throughout the night and around 3plus we act went chinatown!P.S something bad happen. it isnt nice to let a lot of people know la. and thats my problem so i hope those who know will also keep numb abt it. i will get over it give me time.
new year day:
relative came to visit. all of them had grown up!! i mean it, gosh! comments as usual. woah! so fast u all are so tall and lady already. so pretty. still as sweet eh? one of my aunties: zhen, u know la, i know u r a sensible child so nobody had said anything. so perfect to every of us but ur earrings cant make it. it is so not ur character! take that down and u will be yourself. but izz that fashion besides mum wants me to buy that. though i dont go for fashion and i dont fancy that but i m just wearing for the fun of it. collected a lot of red packet as usual but mum has to give even more. i m only child but the rest? feel sorry for her. was thinking if u get married and didnt give birth u have to keep giving. haha.
2nd day:
visit to mum side. alright la. but stay till 4 then came home and the next morning
3rd day: met up with xin, hwee, fang, salina and dan. to mrs lim house. her doggie benji is so cute! i want a puppy too! took some pictures and sat for awhile then went to my grandaunt house. and the person was there. end of day. dont want to mention.

2006-01-29T03:14:00.000-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!

2006-01-27T06:16:00.000-08:00

Let me update about the concert at raffles hotel jubilee hall performed by SJCians. Many people went to see. It was quite a good show, I din not waste my 15bucks. Haha. Was indecisive cos I felt really guilty that im always canceling things with ppl at e last min! I m really sorry. All of them look so mature! Okay and I tell u the things there is damn ex kay! 1 bottle of mineral water cost 10bucks! Saw I lot of ex-SJCian also. The reason that I was so surprise was that hoe can we not know where each other go when we used to know every single thing. Didnt u teach me that if there is a problem we should trash out. It just shows that we r drifting apart. Anw the show was good cos it was reality and practical to us esp girls!
Today had lao yu sheng as a form of celebration for cny. After which had CD period and I was like so *****! Then after sch had spot check for all monitor and as usual I pass lo. Then went town with meidan, walked around till we met debra and I bought 2 pairs of earrings that mum wants me to wear. Then headed to peiling jie house oh and the show was best! I like it! Mum say the earrings are so cheap sld buy more then I said under my breadth that I wont even wear it often then she say u make sure u put it on or not I will buy something for u. and she wanted me to buy shoe also. I wont be going out often what for buy?!

2006-01-22T03:30:00.000-08:00

Had been a few days since I last blog. A lot to upload.((:

Thu:
lessons as usual. Had cca fair after school. Thanks to soo kien. Cos act I do not have to attend but she nominated me. anw, that’s giving me a chance to do smething for the cca. Then we were at a lost of what to do as we did not go for the rehearsal. It was in a mess and mrs goh was like damn angry. Then I ran away to prevent scolding then when everything ended she asked me what was happening and why izz so messy. I was feeling very guilty that I know nuts abt it but she say u dont have to worry I m not there either. She is really very nice and her daughter name is call Jade Goh! Nice and unique name.

fri:
also as usual. Until Character Development period! The monitress had to go up stage to intro and say what we like about the school and our cca. And we were so scared. And I dont what am I talking about! I say I love the school because the teachers and students were loving. Lame right? got and a lot more things coming up. After sch went to nyp. First went RM for lunch. Don’t know why I always have to feel guilty for something. I know that it will affect the mood of the rest but I still do it cos I simply cant just leave it alone. Shall not mention about it. Commercial break: we went toilet and then fang and hwee wanted to play a trick on dan. So they held her door and guess what she do she climb over to see what was going on. We laugh till we cant takeit any more. But NYP was fine. Maybe will be interested in the IT course.

Sat:
Met fang and hwee to go SP and TP. Dan say she will go there first and yet she was the last to reach. As usual. Then we tour around SP. It didnt give me the best impression. The presentation skills and all not very good through it’s the second best poly in Singapore. The course I interested in will be banking and financial. Then we had lunch at SP. We went TP after that the journey was damn long! 18 stations. But when we went there the open house had already end! But we got the goody bag. Then hwee had to go work so me dan and fang went Tampines mall to shop. And something funny happened in the fitting room. We went Ness if Im not wrong then dan tried a dress which she had difficulties getting it in. so fang and I help her with it. Dan: its a good sign. It meant that u cant wear XS le. And its okay cos we are all girls ma.haha. then we headed town. But on the journey we talked a lot. I love the feeling t have another person who can put myself in her shoe and she is none other than my darling fang! We talked about each other’s weaknesses too. Only dan spoke about my weaknesses. She felt that sometimes I m a little pampered. dan: if sometimes u feel that I always wanted my way or something never give in to me. let me know so that I will change.help me if u treat me like a friend. I cant understand I always ask people to tell me what they dont like about me they just cant answer my question!! Then we went PS, by the time we reached there it was already 9plus 10. shop around then had dinner at pasta mania. Before dan go home fang ended the day with a joke. Her sis friend act called people at 3am to ask the person to go toilet!! We laugh like we had not laugh before. Then fang and I went to meet hwee after her work. So cool right? haha. Reached home nearly 12am! Thanks for the day darlings!!
Today:
YG started le. This year will not be in the same place and Jiqing and qiufeng. I suggested it. So me and weilun same. I was surprised that my permission was granted. Commonwealth compo to complete by tomorrow. Off I go…

P.S. I LOVE MY FRIENDS FOR THE SWEET MEMORIES THEY GAVE ME!!!

2006-01-18T06:31:00.000-08:00

Although I have tones of homework to complete but I think I must update abt today. I just enjoy the simple pleasure in amaths class. Since sch reopen I had not had such a good laugh already. Oh and guess what we will be having all our amaths lesson in the lib! Cheers! But I almost freeze inside. Mrs ng say las time we ask her bring us to lib for lesson she dont allow. Now without asking we got all our lessons there. Hahaha.
I LOVE AMATHS CLASS!!!
Still thinking if I sld go nyp or cca fair this fri! I want go nyp and I know its okay if I go. But I just felt the sense of responsibility besides I promise to do something before I leave the sch.
Then fang and hwee were just so kind to accompany me go on sat so they are going twice! Thanks darlings. So we are going nyp, tp and sp. Next next week will be ngee ann de le. So look forward!
I have decided to be a good girl and go cca. Aint I good? I know I had always been.;)

2006-01-15T05:32:00.000-08:00

all i can say is just that i m so disappointed in u!i just couldnt believe what u r doing now. u r just not u. if i were to tell those who know u what had become of u i guess nobody would believe. the role model that they look up to was a total disappointment. i dont know what to say abt u. my heart hurts to think abt what u r doing to torture urself for something so not worth! :(
P.S. i hope and pray for all this to end!!

2006-01-13T21:16:00.000-08:00

Read dan blog. Yes I enjoy being an IJ girl for 10years, never tired of whom u r, never shy about where u r from and never felt left out in an IJ sch. We respect each other and we love each other like our own family. Things may change, people may change but memories in IJ sch will never change. A definite fact. The following lyric is also an IJ song. No one else has it, only IJ girls. Read carefully.

HOLD ON TO OUR DREAM
IJ spirit burning bright
Fill the world with love and light
Light that shines for all to see
Love that sets our spirit free

IJ friendships through the years
Born of simple joys and tears
Something tell us deep inside
IJ friends are friends for life

Hold on to our dream of peace
Dont stop believing
Our hearts and hands, ever seeking, ever serving
Hold on to the sound
Of our friends all joyously singing
Our voices raise to the Lord our God above
Hold on t our dream

IJ spirit burning bright
Fill our hearts with love and light
Light to see ourselves anew
Love begins with me and you

IJ voices ringing true
Reaching out and breaking through
Every heart will hear our call
Share our dream of peace for all

Hold on to our dream, hold fast to the IJ dream
Hold on to our dream!

Through it may not be true that IJ friends are friends for life now. However, one fact u cant denied is that we have better memories in an IJ school and we learn things that are useful to our future and teaching us how to be gracious young lady. I LOVE BEING AN IJ GIRL!

2006-01-13T06:15:00.000-08:00

oh gosh! i have so much to update abt this week. it was meaningful and fun!

tue:
went town with my daddy and mummy then after that we went chinatown. and i feel quite good that at least my cousins didnt have the chance to buy anything for me as mummy and daddy had bought all that i need. really thanks alot, daddy and mummy. they give me practically all that i wanted and needed since young. i am really fortunate and i should treasure. i love them just as much as they love me. had an enjoyable time. going out with daddy is just so malu-ating and funny. he had got a loud voice and he still talk like nobody's business. yet he is still funny with his lamest joke!

wed:
had heritage tour. we went to civic district then to parliament house and then had lunch at maxwell and continue with the tour at URA and last was the singapore story. i can tell u its so interesting till many just fell asleep!

thu:
we had CIP. we collected a lot of stuffs, was aching all over but we collected less than yest and even lesser than last year. we were in the rain. and i had a bad headache after that. we were all so drenched!!!

today:
motivational study skills. was boring and not we didnt learn much though the trainer was interesting. or i sld say i was not on the mood to listen. but the goals setting part was good.

after that went compass with natasha sarah xin and dan. walk around then we went hougang mall without natasha and to xin house without sarah. i didnt want to go home. and thanks for offering ur houses.
i was so disgusted with the behaviour of someone!!! i guess i should not say here. if things go worst i will get myself involved, if not i just cant be bothered. but if i find out that u r making this up thats the end i am not gonna be nice to u!
sometimes there is a limit to everything. when i am nice u better not climb to my head or if i am angry i will make sure u regret. u may think my tolerance level very high but when it stops i dont know what will i do either. it applys to all. pls dont take that for granted.
P.s. i am so in love with love concierge! was so touched till tears that my friend was so shock that tears was flowing, i look strong but i am not!

2006-01-09T06:42:00.000-08:00

Was chatting on the phone for 3hours! Half the time I was keeping quiet. I was at a loss of words when those phrases hit me. I was just too stress with school. Until now I still cant feel the mistakes we made. I had been trying real hard to figure it out. Anw, cca registration. I wanted to do something for the cca really. But I m often not given the chance. My cca teacher usually ask others to do it. I felt like I am just holding a position and not doing anything.

2006-01-09T06:39:00.000-08:00

If u really love that person u will respect and give the person freedom, but if u tie the person too tightly, u have never love her.

I recommend the 9pm show, love concierge, it’s a nice show and also educational.

This is for u! u want an answer right? here it is.
So what if I tell u that I have been lying so what if I had feel for u. so what??! u cant decide for me what kind of life I want. U cant decide if I must get into a relationship. All u can do is accept the fact and go to a path where both parties really love each other and has agreed to go on a relationship with u. this prob has been bugging us for more than a year. I do hope that u understand. I guess I have said enough.

I guess the hard way dont work on u I can see. But I hope after reading the email I sent u will really understand. Give yourself a chance to go to a better path. I may not be as good as u think. Seriously I dont know which part of me make u like this.

P.S. it has been a year so I hope this will be put to a stop. In case u dont know this is more of torturing me! all I can say is I am sorry for all the disappointment I gave u.

2006-01-07T06:57:00.000-08:00

Another entry for the evening.
We were more like chatting than studying la hor.
We talk abt friends mostly.
Friendship is fragile.
And when we call each other friends there is a lot in a friend.
You have to understand one another, confide into each other, not being jealous that ur friend is with her other friends, being there for u(will not leave u alone), be ur listening ear, advises u, help u when u r in need and not run away, let u have ur own life and most important respecting and caring for one another.
I felt really guilty that I had not been a good friend.
I m always busy with my stuffs, with family.
I sld cut down on this and give more time to my friends.

But sometimes I really thinking… I always think for others but did others think for me? I feel so out of place but not many realize it. But what to do, thats me!

2006-01-06T21:57:00.000-08:00

Yest:
The whole of sec 5 benevolence together with the teachers were called upon to the meeting room to have a good thrashing from the p and vp. To be exact it was abt the attitude and the open rudeness. And to be honest, I can tell u some of us dont really know that they really said that harsh words. i agree that I dont like our new teacher but one thing I am sure of is that I wont scold the teacher and be rude to her. and the reason for listening to laura was that she really can help manage the group and some of us were not totally agreeable with it. we were just following. I mean was my fault to follow blindly but what can I do? On the leaflets giving out day fang and I was saying that we felt so sorry for the teacher for taking our class. But I really dont understand why must the teachers say everything that we tell them. How will we dare to approach them in future. That was our personal comment. i seriously didnt know why mrs chan n mrs das were so angry. One parent called but was it our idea? Anw it was really unfair for us what. the worst part was that they blame ms ong for not teaching us values! She did!
They also wanted a personal session with the leaders. What are they gg to tell us?
They are all disappointed with the entire group when I seriously dont know what have we done? I swear I wasnt rude right infront of her I only say it when I am at home and not rude or unrespectful words k? and I m sure most of them didnt do that. It was just a small group who does that. This incident just makes me change opinion on a lot of things. We want ms ong yes but we were also okay with mrs april ng after mrs das reason it out with us the other day. I mean we have a depth feeling with ms ong le. Its difficult to get used to not having her. 2 years as our form teacher u know!
Today:
I m so affected by yest. Went shopping w mom in the morning bought a new skirt . off I go…

2006-01-05T06:10:00.000-08:00

read dan blog..
ya. i had been wanting to say it but i was really afraid that i would hurt someone but i cant take it any longer.
i m mean can call us selfish or what. but ms ong so much of us and she can control us in the shortest amount of time. we just cant afford to waste our time! yes we should give others a chance but why is it at our most important year. it will be a short year just let us spend the last chapter of our sec sch with ms ong and all our other teachers la... all the teachers that we are comfortable with all not teaching us.
i really miss 3B 2004! it was the best time in SJC! the whole class co-operate. we got all we wanted. we were so enthu. we participate in most school activities. we were so pampered by ms ong and mrs ng. all this times i missed. it had been memories but the times just make us love the class so much. we come from different background, different standards and different character yet we work as one. till now it still never change. maybe a little i admit but we still can gather them to go negotiate with mrs chan and mrs das!
P.S. i miss 3B 2004 and the teachers!

2006-01-04T01:38:00.000-08:00

today school as usual. boring yet meaningful. went to give out fliers like last year. had quite a bit of fun. then went back school.
the whole group of us went towards mrs chan and mrs das. our principal and v.principal respectively. the mrs chan say r u are coming for a protest or something. then we required ms ong and all our teachers back. they say no we cant be so selfish must share the good teachers with others and 5a need them more than we do cos we r okay. but this isnt fair right? to share all our good teachers with another class. but was rather convinced that we should share and give others a chance. at least our principals are negotiable.
am really tired.

P.S. life will be better!

2006-01-03T04:09:00.000-08:00

first day of school. had been kind of boring. i dont wish to describe the day, i just dreaded it! i dont know why but i had been in deep thoughts for the whole time from recess till the end of day!

let me first talk about the morning. assembly as usual the our 2 classes were joined together about 70 of us in the line. so wonderful! a history in SJC i guess. then we saw a new teacher coming then all the ex-4b goes to 5b, all the ex-4c goes to 5a. then we relised that mr yeo is not teaching us. meidan was like asking mr yeo why didnt he appeal to teach our class, my reaction was i think he had enough of our class what for appeal to teach our class. its a really major year thus i do hope to have good teachers so that i would have pleasant memories leaving the school. i really really do hope that they will change our form teacher, and i only want ms ong! u see that, ms ong. but maybe if we just get her straightaway and if we have the good teacher we moght take it for granted and not appreciate it. but i really have the i miss ms ong feeling. u know u r just so use to her.

the next thing is i saw Mrs Goh! its a good thing to see that she is back but that means that no slacking for me. she say she has got lots of stuffs to sort out with me. i felt so guilty that i did not do anything. i am a president of the club and i seem to know nothing about it and for half the year i had not attend cca.

yest mass meeting they were talking about leadership. i was one of them identified and they even say that i have the quality yet i always hide from job assignment. i dont like recognition! thats the problem not that i am too shy or whatsoever. but i m glad that meiling jie approved my permission to withdraw out of main comm for this year!

P.S. i care because i m repaying back!!

2006-01-01T06:20:00.000-08:00

im so tired!!!!!!!!! i slept at 3 plus yest and woke up at 7.45 this morning! then the entire day was out till now. tmr waking uo early again. mass meeting tmr! argh! im really too tired to update. but there is one thing i wanna update. i witness an accident today! and i saw the bus crushed onto a motorist! blood everywhere. motorcycle crashed into pieces! nightmare! i hugged daddy so tight that i would not even dare to let go! help! please help to psycho my brain!

2005-12-30T22:29:00.000-08:00

Had been a few days since I last update. Had been rather busy also.

Let me first start with Christmas eve. morning went to Four Season hotel for lunch with my maternal side relatives. Each person had to pay 50bucks and there are 8 tables thus had to pay $4000. mom and dad foot the bill. Alright and guess who I saw at the restaurant? Fann Wong and all my cousins were so excited then we took a few pictures with her. she was quite friendly I would say. Then we had crazy shopping after that. Cos all shops close at 6pm so all of them was doing the last min shopping and as usual Singaporeans are kiasu what so sale must quickly buy. I was like so uninterested with the shopping trip. Was chatting on the phone with my friends then my aunties start scolding me say I dont want to look at what I want to buy and buy them but seriously I m not interested in buying all the stuffs. I have everything and I dont see the need to buy any. Only dad agrees with me so he bought me to coffee bean to sit down while waiting for them. Then he met his friend and I was left all alone there called jiqing to come and accompany me and all of them start teasing me and all. I mean he is the easiest to call and he can entertain me ma. P.S. thanks for that day. U made my day. Talking to u is just like talking to my brother!!

Christmas itself. I shall not update on that day it was a long story.but I definitely enjoyed this Christmas. It was a very memorable want.

26 the next day after Christmas. Youth group had a celebration. I shall not elaborate also. But I just simply look forward to more of those gatherings. Its good mixing with people of your age and being with children is a simple pleasure. Guess thats my passion?

27 and 28 was busy with the meetings and went with mum to the hospital to see her friend, went with grandma to the doctor and visited my granduncle.

29 went dan house to study. I was serious about it but dan? She was sleeping and when she woke up her mum talk to us about her favourite topic. I learnt a lot. I mean I like to listen to people experiences. Went home with sandy and she took her a lot too. On the journey home I was putting all those I heard that day into deep thoughts and I decided on something, and had the courage to do it.

30 ask some of them out then I had time alone with jiqing I asked qiufeng to accompany me and I talked! Get over with it and carry on with ur own life pls!

Lastly happy new year to all! May ur wishes come true in the new year! =)

2005-12-30T08:10:00.000-08:00

okay firstly i guess i really need to console 2 very important people in my life.

first is qiufeng, we are cousin and i really really hope that u can tell me what' is bothering u!! if u dont know how to start u can start by catagorising your problems. family u dont have. job- maybe u cant find one and it is bothering u. friends i dont think u have. relationship? my advise is go with ur feelings dont force yourself if u r not ready for it. must remember to tell him how u feel. okay i sld not talk too much over here but if i dont u wil never tell me. better not let weilun kor see this or else he will kill me!if its stress u better not be,cos u cant take it.

secondly is jiqing, i know u must be very upset now. but i really hope that u can forget abt me. if it means that we should not meet up so often i will do it for ur sake. i truly treat u like my big brother. like i say appreciation is all i have and i really treat u as my very good friend. thanks for all the present memories. i was shocked that u were so emotional and i do hope u r alright now.

i love u both as a very good friend, cousin and brother! -hugs-

2005-12-22T01:34:00.000-08:00

today went out with canice and theodora. did some catching up. girls, must catch up more often in the years to come kay? or at least a letter a phone call to inform one another that we r doing fine. any problems must share. same to all other friends!!
love all of u lots!

2005-12-21T06:19:00.000-08:00

today am supposed to study at toa payoh lib but i dont seems to be studying more like forcing myself to. so went to walk around instead felt like i let myself down must really work hard le. i guess my perfect studying group is with dan, cos she will shut up when its only the both of us. hahaha.
christmas coming real soon. argh!!

2005-12-11T22:40:00.000-08:00

Problems aroused all because of me. I will learn to let down. Felt like I had not been myself. I don know the reason either. I had become less confident, often cant be bothered with the surroundings, less ability to help those who need me with my thoughts. I need to get back to myself. And I need u to be there for me cos u thought me who I m and what I am! All these days I had been lost in the deep blue sea! U didn’t see it cos I m acting it up!
Lets talk about happy things. I will change myself but I really need u to talk to me. I really need.
Yest went sentosa!! It was a fun day but I could not really enjoy cos weilun kor and I was the only comm left. He was not in a good mood so I was like with a pierce of wood! Please ppl! Sick one get well soon. Heaven come back one come back quick. I m suffering! I tried to smile and enjoy with the kids. At niht went to visit qiufeng jie.
P.S. qiufeng jie u kow why u r always sick? U r too stressed up and too much things u want to complete. Seriously. Thats talking from experience. I look forward to the old me. I looked forward to all of u all, the four of us back together to plan for more happy occasions for all. I looked forward to the day when u understand me like u used to.
~ and through the tears we shed we learn and grow from ur mistakes~

2005-12-09T07:35:00.000-08:00

Yest
went to watch movie. Chicken little. Quite a funny show. Haha.
Today
My conversation with daddy.
Dad: zhen u work for me for 2 wks le, I promise to give u 300 per wk so today I will pay u 600.
Me: no la daddy no need u give me 200 go shopping.
He: okay, u dont want ur cousins to buy things for u u go buy for urself is a good idea.
Me:ya.thanks daddy!
So I met up w qf jie she just came back yest then gt to go out w me poor soul. We went to toa payoh lib to study. I mean me. I wrote 2 compo then she mark for me after which we met up w WL kor for shopping. When he saw qf jie he was tearing. And they hugged each other. Only know how to make me jealous. They I was like a light bulb shining there so brightly. Then qf jie turned to me and gave me a hug then she say sorry I neglected u. then I shoot her back aiya! Used to it le. I m always so extra.
Anw, I bought myself a wallet and a pair of sport shoe from surfers paradise. And went to buy 2 belts and a blouse plus a watch for daddy. Went on to buy a necklace, a pair of heels and a wallet for mummy. All this cost me 200plus so I fork out the rest myself. Then we had dinner together and now am back home. Gave them all the gifts told them is Christmas cum new year gift. Could see that they were very touched. I love my daddy and mummy.
Haha now shall see what can my cousins buy for me I have clothes, shoes, wallet, gonna get a bag and some accessories and am done w new year stuff!! Bleah;)

2005-12-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

~if u love someone, treasure it with all your life. if u let go of it, u will be licking the boots of regret.~

Sorry people! I didnt but any stuff for anyone cos had no time some of u guys know why. Dont wish to explain again.

Went out with al-lene, ruixin and dan to talk about our problem but I din tell them that. so first we did some shopping then had dinner at pasta and we started the topic then we went singapore river to continue.
**recommendation: singapore river a good place to relax and catch up!
i finally got the answer! act all of them felt belonged! but maybe not for all. i felt so relieved! it was a meaningful trip cos i had finally taken off the load that was on me for one year! anw, guess what we saw jasmine with her mum and was so shocked!!!!

steph: sorrry for not listening to u! i know u care and wanted whats best for me, buti grown up from hurt and learnt how to settle my own stuff. thanks cousin!

felt a sense of sactisfaction!
besides that also solve my own personal prob!
TREASURE is the word i learn!
//i searched deep inside my heart and i found that i missed you!//

2005-12-02T18:53:00.000-08:00

Thanks for putting in the effort to sacrifice the rest to save me but I dont see the need really. U al saved me but my soul is still there worrying for the rest. I agree with 5th uncle! Show them that it is a big deal to do such a THING! Who cares? I m leaving this place tomorrow. But they had better give me an answer. A reasonable want!

2005-11-30T22:11:00.000-08:00

the ride was a bad want, i kept throwing out and i cant get a single thing into my mouth. it was the worst. had to trouble the person sitting beside me and he cant eat too. perhaps too disgusted with me throwing into the bag. i was told that i looked extremely pale. and even worst news were recieved.
boredem overwhelmed me, feeling extremely lonely, dark like the clouds you see when its going to pour, cold like you have been to a deserted place where nobody can save you from danger and at a lost of what to do to kill the long hours waiting for an answer. i could have done something more meaningful than this. it was a waste of time. guess that was the reason why i am not looking forward to it. i just could sense it. but God have blessed me with a very fortunate family where i felt love. no one else can share the joy when you needed a crying shoulder and it was there for u. its just a very fortunate feeling.
the best thing was we are so prepared! tv, books, radio, laptop and something to occupy the unmeaningful and unprepared waste of time.
words could not expressed how miserable i am now. friends trying to cheer me up, family members trying their best to help all of us.
kept thinking what kind of fate is this. everthing seems to be arranged for you yet nobody does it. its the guy upstairs, above the clouds. all i want now is to spent this time doing something more meaningful and helping out for the purpose but i cant do a single thing now. i wanted to see all of them now! i missed every single one.

2005-11-27T16:43:00.000-08:00

Numb about nearly everything! Now am at qiufeng jie house cos she’s sick so got to take care of her since nobody is at home.
Fri and yest went to Elena jie house for English tution. Then spent most of the time slacking at her house w qiufeng. We came back only this morning! Bukit Timah is super far. I really think that only rich people stay there but even if u r rich no need to stay in condo have nice cars and everything nice. It is more important to be happy, to enjoy life.
Okay abt e shopping trips. I bought a bottom from Zara, a top from Topshop, 2tops and a skirt from espirit and we are going shopping again on Christmas eve. But Elena jie bought all those for me s I felt bad! I will buy something myself. I felt that I am really very fortunate and I already should give thanks! Really. So many people cares about me, so many people dote on me and so many people give me what is best for me. if I dont thank them for all this I am really very guilty. That makes me rather in to youth group. I want to shower my care for others too.
And I m really worried abt my result! I cant disappoint anyone.

P.S. thanks for all the care and concern showered upon me!!

2005-11-20T23:19:00.000-08:00

and yet another niece born!
elena jie is pregnant w a pair of twins. a boy and a girl. yeah! gonna be untie again!
why am i so excited it seems like i am so old!!
i am really very tired! why everything need me to go settle.
why u all always thinks that i can do it?
thanks to you anw! a pair of helping hands speak louder than all those encouragements!
:) smile and the whole worls smiles with you!

2005-11-18T16:52:00.000-08:00

Argh! Am sick again! I want to go out!
Yest I went to peiling house in the morning for some deco stuff. Supposed to go town together before she go school. But we finished too late so never go. I headed town to meet dan. P.S. hwee ur hug very warming! Haha. Then meet her for 10mins only. Went to her shop to see got any presnt I can buy. Then dan go ask her college to help me, but I dont need cos was just looking around! And finally got someone say that I look like I am 16 years old!! Finally! Then headed to town to meet him. We buy the deco stuff and went to qiufeng jie house.
Just now went heartland mall and hougang mall with mummy. Bought quite a bit of things and mummy cant carry cos her hand is injured! So I got to carry lol. went lib to borrow some books so that I can read. And guess who I saw? Ma Huifang! I was so surprised! When I walked inside, I saw a girl very familiar then was thinking who is that. Then fang looked up and I was very surprises!!
This is call like minds thinks alike, darlings are fated to meet! Right, darling?

Alright! I need to go out now to celebrate my friends birthday!!
Btw, angie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2005-11-14T22:53:00.000-08:00

its meidan bithday today. so happy birthday to her.
i m very tired so shall not continue. not sure why am i so tired nowadays lol?
so busy w my family stuffs. why are they putting me in charge of nearly everything? so tiring for me.

2005-11-11T19:06:00.000-08:00

i am finished with all my exams!!! 3cheers! to those who are still mugging, jia you kay? to those who just started school, too bad for you!
to u: now i know u r just shooting me back with what ur mum tell u! now i know why u not looking for jobs le cos ur mum told u e reasons huh? see, ur mum dote u so much. ;)
canice birthday today! happy birthday and sweet sixteeen!

2005-11-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

i am very fortunate to have such a understanding friend! u really touched my heart and u melt it!

a poem i make( its not referring to anything):
Never Forgetting You Once Cared!
dreamt of you again.
wishing to see you just one more time.
perhaps everything has come to an end.
you have found another,
or maybe you choose never to realise that i am still awaiting for your call;
your words;
yourvoice,
you might not notice its me thinking of the times we had.
those times,
were the best moment i had!
for i know,
you are the only one
that remains in me!

2005-11-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

mon is my paper le i am really very scared! really very! i am not even a little ready at all! what should i do? argh! its bad! today went back school for consultation then mrs elan teach us half way then she got something on so she had to go then we went to look for ms ong she also not free so she help us ask mr seng to teach us.
help! i really really very scare!

2005-10-31T17:27:00.000-08:00

the feeling of missing someone is bad!
i am to normal. dont worry for me guys.
all i want to do now is study hard for my o maths then play real hard after it then get back result then see how. other things, cast that aside. like what canice say leaving everything is god hands.

2005-10-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

Am I really suffering from depression, think if this goes on I will really have. Then he still can tell me even if u have depression u got so much support from your family and friends so its ok la. how can u say that?!
Anw, yest went back school for mock test. Its quite ok la. but I was late cos I thought is 2.30 but its 2pm! After that I rushed home and went to meet hwee, fang and joan at compass. Went to celebrate joan’s birthday. I wasn’t on the mood act, just tried my best to put on that smile. I am sorry abt it.
Today not gg out, doing homework cos in the evening need to go cousin wedding.
I just cant wait for the day to come!